Being a Mum

This week I have been told many stories of struggling within parenting or just having a bad day. Nobodies having a whinge, just people struggling with every day life of parenting. Some situations are more unique then others. There is the mum who burst into tears when I asked how she was going. She is just really sleep deprived and today was struggling to smile. There is the dad who has taken time off work to help his wife who is not coping with three little kids and needs some time out and some help to catch up on things. The wife who doesn't understand why her husband doesn't get how much work staying at home with kids is, how tired she is being pregnant and how much her hormones are effecting her this week, she wants some time out, and the dad who thinks he has to change careers to be able to be more supportive of having a family. They are some of the stories I have heard in the last two days!

Two dads this week said to me that they don't understand how mums can function on so little sleep, that they knew they would be a basket case if it was them. I think the reality of this statement is that many women don't function well on little sleep. That we do some times burst into tears, or ask the husband to stop the car and then get out and walk home, or forget essential things for school or a birthday or an event, forget groceries or a doctors appointment or to pay a bill. That we do yell too loud sometimes at the kids, or binge out on chocolate or other indulgence. That some days we want to give up. Want to scream at the top of our lungs, want to go back to bed and sometimes do. I know I have done many of these things, many times.

Being a parent can be hard. One mum said to me this week: "I can do this, the mum stuff its not that hard, but without sleep I can not, nothing happens when I am sleep deprived". There is no question about that.

I have found that it is really important to be honest about how you are going. To ask for help when you need it. To source resources that are available to you.To know what your weaknesses are, what tips you over, what causes you to fall apart. To set up plans for when your weaknesses are called upon so you can cope when that time comes. And then if all else fails, turn on the tv, have toast or weatbixs for dinner, have a friend who is sympathetic, give them a call and have a glass of wine. Tomorrow is another day.

I wrote this today because everyone I spoke to this week brought up something along these lines with me. I remember when Chloe was a baby and we lived far from family and I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't know these basics then, but I am slowly learning ways to parent better, ways to function better and ways to smile more. I hope that this is somehow useful for you today too.

x Jo